remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
