mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize