You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize