I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
