I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
