JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
