what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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