tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
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so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
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just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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