Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
