I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
