I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
