By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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