Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
