the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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