I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
