His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
