Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
