was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
