ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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