Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
