Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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