Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
