I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize