Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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