I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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