In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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