I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
