THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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