I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
