you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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