I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
