the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
