I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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