Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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