So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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