Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
