My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
