The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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