You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
