just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
