Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
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We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
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The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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