Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
