can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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