how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
