He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
