@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You took a bar mat shot.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
