i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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