Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize