Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My breasts were aching with rage.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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