This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize