you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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