Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
