The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
