$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
