bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
