I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize