Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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