i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have fence marks all over my body
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
