Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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