my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
