Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
