You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Drake has all the answers
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
